Triaging Your Divorce Needs – Part 2: Defining Your Needs and Resources

By The Divorce Housing Pro – 07/25/23

Divorce is a complex and emotionally charged process, requiring individuals to make critical decisions that will shape their future. It is essential to understand the various types of support available and how they align with your needs and financial resources. By adopting a triage approach, where you list and prioritize your needs and review your finances, you can navigate the divorce journey more efficiently.

In the previous article, Triaging Your Divorce Needs – Part 1: Understanding the Different Types of Divorce and the Cost, I covered the types of divorce and selecting a type or hybrid approach that meets your objectives and has a better likelihood of staying within your resource constraints.  I say chance of staying within your constraints because expansion and creep on issues can balloon costs for any type.  This article is to help make sure that does not happen.

To achieve the desired outcome while managing your budget effectively, it is crucial to prioritize your needs and evaluate your financial situation. Consider the following aspects:


Determine the level of legal expertise you require based on the complexity of your divorce.  For your easy reference and benefit, I have separated this article into two parts, this being the first and the second addressing the different divorce types.  In all examples, you have differing levels of support to hire different specialists to assist, so you will need to fully evaluate which choice balances your legal needs with cost and flexibility.

You will need to understand the different scenarios that define divorce types and the dynamics between you and your soon-to-be-ex.  Let’s explore some examples to illustrate how different divorce scenarios may call for varying levels of legal support.  Please note that is far from an exhaustive list, but provides good context.

Amicable Separation:

Sarah and Michael have mutually decided to end their marriage on amicable terms. They don’t have complex financial assets to divide, and both are committed to prioritizing their children’s well-being. In this scenario, they might choose to pursue a collaborative divorce process or mediation. Collaborative divorce involves hiring attorneys trained in negotiation and conflict resolution, while mediation employs a neutral mediator to facilitate discussions. Both options provide legal guidance without escalating costs, making them suitable choices for couples seeking an efficient and cooperative resolution.

Contested Divorce with Significant Assets:

David and Emily are going through a contentious divorce, as they disagree on the division of their substantial assets, including multiple properties, investments, and a family business. Given the complexity of their financial situation and potential disagreements, they may each need to retain experienced divorce attorneys with expertise in complex property division and business valuation. While the legal fees might be higher, having skilled representation can protect their interests and ensure a fair settlement.

High-Conflict Divorce with Child Custody Disputes:

Mark and Jennifer are facing a high-conflict divorce, with intense disagreements over child custody arrangements. In such emotionally charged cases, it is essential to prioritize the well-being of the children while addressing the legal complexities. Both parties may benefit from hiring attorneys experienced in family law and child custody matters. Additionally, involving child psychologists or counselors may offer valuable insights to guide custody decisions in the best interests of the children.

Cross-Border Divorce:

Peter and Maria, an international couple, are navigating a divorce involving jurisdictional complexities due to residing in different countries during their marriage. In cross-border divorces, understanding the legal implications of multiple jurisdictions is vital. Each party might require legal representation with expertise in international family law to address issues such as asset distribution, child custody, and spousal support across borders.

Limited Budget Divorce:

Lisa and John have limited financial resources and wish to keep their divorce costs as low as possible. In such cases, they may opt for a do-it-yourself (DIY) divorce or seek assistance from legal aid organizations. While DIY divorces can be cost-effective, they require careful research and attention to detail to avoid potential legal pitfalls. Legal aid organizations may provide pro bono or reduced-cost legal services to those who meet specific financial criteria, offering essential legal support for those on a tight budget.


Emotional well-being is paramount during divorce. Seek therapy or counseling services to help navigate the emotional challenges.  All have different requirements to manage and overcome. Let’s explore some examples of how emotional support can play a pivotal role in different divorce scenarios:

Emotional Rollercoaster:

Michelle and Robert have been married for over a decade, and their divorce has left them feeling emotionally drained and overwhelmed. They find it challenging to cope with the range of emotions, from sadness and anger to anxiety and uncertainty. In this situation, both Michelle and Robert might benefit from individual therapy or counseling to process their feelings, develop coping strategies, and regain a sense of emotional stability.

Co-Parenting Challenges:

Amanda and James have two young children and are transitioning from a married couple to co-parents after their divorce. Co-parenting can present its own set of emotional challenges, especially when it involves navigating communication and cooperation while caring for the children. Both Amanda and James may choose to participate in co-parenting counseling or attend joint parenting classes. These resources can provide valuable guidance on effective communication and strategies for promoting a healthy co-parenting relationship, ultimately benefiting the children’s well-being.

Loss of Identity:

Brian has been a stay-at-home parent throughout his marriage, and now, facing divorce, he feels a significant loss of identity and self-worth. He worries about financial independence and adjusting to life as a single parent. To address these emotional struggles, Brian might seek counseling or join support groups for individuals experiencing similar life changes. These avenues can offer reassurance, encouragement, and practical advice on rebuilding self-esteem and finding a new sense of purpose.

Overcoming Grief and Loss:

Lisa and Daniel have made the difficult decision to divorce after the passing of their teenage son, which put a strain on their relationship. Amid grief and profound loss, they are grappling with the emotional impact of both the divorce and their bereavement. In this emotionally complex situation, individual grief counseling might be essential for both Lisa and Daniel to address their feelings of loss and heal emotionally, fostering a healthier transition through the divorce process.

Anxiety about Housing:

Olivia is concerned about housing stability after her divorce, particularly as she faces budgetary constraints. The uncertainty surrounding her living arrangements adds to her emotional stress. To address her housing needs and find stability, Olivia can seek the assistance of professionals like the Divorce Mortgage Pro. This expert can help her navigate the complexities of mortgage options, refinancing, or finding suitable housing solutions within her budget.


Analyze the financial implications of your divorce, including property division, spousal support, child custody, and future housing arrangements. The Divorce Mortgage Pro’s housing analysis and consulting services can provide valuable insights, helping you make informed decisions about housing options, financial planning, and mortgage strategies.

Divorce brings significant financial implications that necessitate careful consideration to ensure a stable financial future for both parties involved. Here are some examples of how a comprehensive financial analysis can aid in making informed decisions during divorce:

Property Division:

Jennifer and Michael own a house together, along with various other assets acquired during their marriage. Deciding how to divide these assets fairly can be complex and emotionally charged. By conducting a detailed financial analysis, they can assess the value of their assets, including the house, investments, and retirement accounts. This analysis will help them understand the tax implications of dividing assets and enable them to negotiate a fair property settlement.

Spousal Support:

After a long-term marriage, Sarah has been a stay-at-home parent while her husband, John, has been the primary breadwinner. As they contemplate divorce, Sarah is concerned about her financial stability and ability to support herself and their children. A financial analysis can assess Sarah’s potential future earnings, expenses, and John’s ability to provide spousal support. This analysis can assist the couple in reaching a fair and sustainable spousal support arrangement.

Child Custody:

Jessica and David are divorcing and both want what is best for their children. While discussing child custody arrangements, they need to consider the financial impact on both parents and the children. A thorough financial analysis will help them understand the financial responsibilities associated with each custody arrangement, ensuring that the children’s needs are met without causing undue financial strain on either parent.

Future Housing Arrangements:

Mark and Emily have decided to sell their family home as part of their divorce settlement. Emily is concerned about her ability to secure new housing within her budget. A financial analysis can help assess Emily’s financial situation, including potential mortgage options and housing affordability. The Divorce Mortgage Pro’s housing analysis and consulting services can be invaluable in guiding Emily towards suitable housing options that align with her budgetary constraints.

Financial Planning:

Brian and Lisa are in the early stages of divorce and are unsure about their future financial outlook. A comprehensive financial analysis can provide a clear picture of their post-divorce financial standing. By considering income, expenses, debts, and asset division, they can create a solid financial plan that sets them on a path towards financial security and independence.

The Divorce Mortgage Pro’s housing analysis and consulting services add an essential layer of expertise to the financial analysis process. By offering insights into housing options, mortgage strategies, and financial planning, individuals like Olivia, as mentioned earlier, can make well-informed decisions about their future housing arrangements and overall financial well-being.

By conducting a thorough financial analysis during divorce is vital to ensure that both parties are aware of their financial rights, responsibilities, and opportunities. Whether it’s property division, spousal support, child custody, or future housing arrangements, a well-executed financial analysis, supplemented by expert consultation, can lead to fair and informed decisions, paving the way for a financially stable post-divorce future.


Remember, your divorce is as different to other divorces as you and your spouse are to other couples facing the challenge of splitting.  You, however, need to both fully understand the nature of that situation and recognize the need.  This will no doubt be difficult and emotional.  It is essential to implementing the steps that you need to control costs while still appropriately covering needs and wants.  In the final part of this series, I will lay out how to bring it all together and create an actionable plan with realistic considerations and expectations.